Have you ever felt that gut feeling that something wasn’t right, but silenced it to avoid conflict, please someone else, or because you feared being “too much”?

Have you ever felt that you can’t share the great thing that just happened because it would make someone else feel less than? Have you ever dimmed your light to make someone else feel more important?

Have you ever compromised your values to make someone else happy?

Have you ever said yes just to avoid letting someone down? These moments are examples of self-abandonment.

It’s when you override your own needs to fit into someone else’s expectations.

It’s when you compromise your values, so you're not labeled “difficult, a bitch, a prude.”

It’s when you stay silent instead of speaking your truth because you don’t want to make waves, have a fight, or cause any sort of disruption.

I know that place well. I lived in it for years. I self-abandoned to be “liked”, “loved,” and “accepted”.

But here’s what I’ve learned, not only through my own journey but through the stories and healing practices I share in I See You: you can’t fully heal while you’re still abandoning yourself.

Healing begins the moment you decide to stand by your truth—even when it’s inconvenient, even when it makes others uncomfortable. Healing happens when you choose you.

What Is Self-Abandonment?

Self-abandonment is a slow erosion of your identity. Self-abandonment happens when you:

· Ignore your intuition (you know that inner knowing, that voice that you ignore)

· Say “yes” when your soul screams “no” (this can happen in so many instances, for example, going to an event that you do not want to do, changing your taste in activities, music, all to please someone else)

· Stay quiet to be liked (I did this a lot with various friend groups. I would go along with the mean girl activities to keep them from being directed at me. All in the name of being a part of the “popular girls”.

· Break promises to yourself (keeping the promises that you make to yourself is the most important part of finding your identity)

· Let fear of rejection guide your choices (fear is the killer of dreams. It is driven by our ego, which wants to keep us living in a fight or flight mode.)

It’s not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it’s hidden in overworking, over-giving, staying in the wrong relationship, or constantly

questioning your worth.

Self-abandonment can sneak into your life without you knowing.

In I See You, I talk about the transformation that happens when you stop shrinking and start standing tall in your truth. Here’s what honoring yourself looks like:

· Saying “no” without guilt. No explanations, just honoring yourself and saying NO.

· Walking away from things that don’t align with your soul, even if they look “perfect” on paper. This has been a big one for me. It can come with sadness. Sometimes we stay because we do not want to hurt someone; however, doing this results in more hurt and pain.

· Trusting your gut when something feels off. We all have this inner voice, and it’s time to listen to your gut. If it feels wrong, then it is wrong. If you must question it, then it’s probably not right for you.

· Refusing to compromise your core values to be accepted. Live by your core values, your non-negotiables. Say YES TO YOU.

When you choose you, you stop asking for permission to exist in your full power. You stop waiting for someone else to see your worth. You claim it. When you choose to love yourself and honor yourself, you get to become your true, authentic self. When you start valuing yourself, others will follow suit

But the truth is: You are not wrong for having boundaries. You are not wrong for choosing yourself. You are not a bitch for being true to you. You are not mean when you say no.

In I See You, I talk about the transformation that happens when you stop shrinking and start standing tall in your truth. Here’s what honoring yourself looks like:

· Saying “no” without guilt. No explanations, just honoring yourself and saying NO.

· Walking away from things that don’t align with your soul, even if they look “perfect” on paper. This has been a big one for me. It can come with sadness. Sometimes we stay because we do not want to hurt someone; however, doing this results in more hurt and pain.

· Trusting your gut when something feels off. We all have this inner voice, and it’s time to listen to your gut. If it feels wrong, then it is wrong. If you must question it, then it’s probably not right for you.

· Refusing to compromise your core values to be accepted. Live by your core values, your non-negotiables. Say YES TO YOU.

When you choose you, you stop asking for permission to exist in your full power. You stop waiting for someone else to see your worth. You claim it. When you choose to love yourself and honor yourself, you get to become your true, authentic self. When you start valuing yourself, others will follow suit

Choosing You Isn’t Selfish, It’s Sacred

There’s a difference between self-love and selfishness. Self-love is sacred. It’s grounded in presence, compassion, and truth. When you love yourself enough to stop abandoning yourself, everything changes. When you truly love yourself, that is what you will attract: LOVE.

If You’ve Been Abandoning Yourself, Here’s How to Begin Again

1. Get Honest – Ask yourself: Where in my life am I saying yes when I mean no?

2. Reconnect with Your Core Values – What are your non-negotiables? What are you no longer willing to compromise?

3. Start a Daily Journaling Practice – As I share in the 90 Days of Healing Your Soul Affirmations List, gratitude and self-reflection are powerful tools to reconnect with your truth.

4. Set Micro-Boundaries – Begin with small, intentional steps that protect your energy and well-being.

5. Practice Self-Compassion – You didn’t know what you didn’t know. Now you do. That’s growth.

Your authenticity is not too much. Your needs are not wrong. Your gut is not lying to you.

And remember: Every time you honor yourself, you teach others how to treat you—and you come home to the one who matters most. You. Don’t ever stop seeing yourself as the beautiful soul that you are. I SEE YOU..

Stop self-abandoning. Start choosing you