Life happens to all of us. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly—it all comes for us at some point. Trauma is universal, even if we don’t openly talk about it. Pain, loss, disappointment, grief, fear—no one is immune. But the defining factor isn’t what happens to us; it’s what we do with it. Tony Robbins says it best: “Life is happening for us, not to us.”

We all have two choices.

We can either be the victim, trapped by our past, stuck in our pain, repeating old cycles. Always believing that it is happening to us.

Or we can be the victor—choosing to rise, choosing to heal, choosing to learn, choosing to rewrite the narrative.

Personally, I choose to let it fuel me. To be the victor. I refuse to let my past define me in a way that limits me. Instead, I use it as the driving force behind my success, my growth, and my healing. It fuels me to be better today than I was yesterday. It fuels me to challenge myself, to take care of myself, and most of all, to love myself. It fuels me to serve others. It fuels me to show up for others and let them know they are not the victim.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned—and one that I talk about in my book, I See You—is that you cannot show up for the people who matter in your life if you are not taking care of yourself first.

Grief Is Not Linear, But It Can Be Transformational

Grief doesn't come with a manual. Some days, the weight is heavy. Other days, we feel bursts of joy and guilt ourselves for it. But here's what I've learned in my journey: grief is love with nowhere to go. The key is to give that love purpose — by living in a way that honors the one we've lost.

Tips for Navigating Grief and Keeping the Memory Alive:

1. Create Rituals of Remembrance Light a candle, plant a flower, or simply speak their name. Honor their birthday, favorite holiday, or a moment that reminds you of them. For me it's a trip to the beach or watching an episode of the Golden Girls.
2. Tell Their Story Share their quirks, wisdom, or lessons they taught you. We keep people alive through stories — they become the threads in our soul's tapestry. One of my all-time favorite stories of Gabby was when she was about 4 years old. Gabby would come to the salon and the team at the salon would love to get her to talk because she had a strong southern drawl. Stephanie that worked with me would ask her over and over what she was going to wear to sleep in and with that strong southern accent she would say "my pajamerersss". Stephanie would ask again and Gabby would get mad and say "I toolldd you already my pajammmmmerssss."
3. Make Space for All Emotions There is no right way to grieve. Allow yourself to cry, laugh, or sit in silence. All of it is sacred. Laugh and live. Feel it and release it.
4. Be Your Authentic Self Gabby was unapologetically herself. And if she taught me anything, it's this: life is too short to pretend. Be bold. Be messy. Be real. Be YOU!!!
5. Practice Daily Kindness Toward others, yes — but especially toward yourself. Healing begins with compassion, and showing yourself grace is not selfish; it's survival. Gabby wasn't always kind to herself but she would chose to help a stranger out no matter what. Gabby gave the ultimate gift to many- life.

The Weight of Expectations: The Ones We Set and The Ones Placed on Us

Expectations. We all carry them—some we place on ourselves, others are placed on us by society, family, careers, and even social media. As a leader, I’ve spent years setting expectations for my team, outlining what success looks like, how we should show up, and the culture we should create together. But somewhere along the way, I had to stop and ask myself:

What expectations am I placing on myself? Are they serving me, or are they weighing me down?

Then came the even bigger question—what expectations do others have of me, and are they in alignment with who I truly am?

The Silent Pressure of Expectations

From a young age, we’re conditioned to meet certain expectations. Be kind, make good grades, work hard, achieve success, be a good parent, look a certain way, have it all together. The list is endless. Some of these expectations push us to grow, while others quietly suffocate us under the weight of perfectionism and people-pleasing.

I’ve felt it in my career, in my personal life, even in the way I show up for others. There was a time when I carried the expectation that I had to have all the answers, always be strong, and never let anyone see me struggle. I told myself that as a leader, I had to be the rock for my team and the people around me. But I never stopped to consider if those expectations were sustainable—or even fair.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of self-love and personal growth. Just when you think you have mastered forgiveness, the Universe has a way of testing you. These moments challenge you to ask: Will I show up in my old patterns, or will I rise with a perspective of love? The answer to this question shapes not only your personal journey but also your effectiveness as a leader and entrepreneur.

Forgiveness isn’t always easy. It requires releasing the heavy burdens of anger, resentment, guilt, and fear. Yet, it is in letting go of these emotions that you create space for your higher self to emerge. Each act of forgiveness brings you closer to living the life of your dreams, free from the limiting beliefs that hold you back.

As an entrepreneur, and person forgiveness becomes an essential tool. People will come and go in your life and company. Sometimes, their departures can feel personal, leaving you questioning your leadership and your worth. But here's the truth: It’s not about you. Each person is on their own journey. They are navigating their own path, facing lessons and challenges that have little to do with you. Understanding this is crucial to becoming the kind of leader who leads with compassion, resilience, and grace. Never forget that some people are here for a season and others for your life journey.

As I travel the country meeting hairstylists it always leaves me in awe when someone says “you’re Only a hairstylist.”

What does that mean? Why do people say that? Why does being a hairstylist have any less worthiness than other professions? Why is being a hairstylist taboo in the eyes of so many people? Why do people say “you can’t make it in college just be a hairstylist?” Why do people say “you’re only a hairstylist you can’t really make a good living with that job?” Why is being a hairstylist viewed as mediocre? Why do people think less of a person because they are a hairstylist?

The first time I ran into someone telling me that I shouldn’t or couldn’t live my dream was in my tenth grade year in high school. I remember the guidance counselor telling me that I was wasting my brain and future if I became a “beautician.” (I was an honor student, and she thought I needed to be a doctor or lawyer). This was an ongoing conversation with her for two years.

I politely corrected her verbiage and said “I will be an amazing Cosmetologist. I promise I will not waste my brain.” Funny thing is that I am so glad I decided to be a part of the beauty industry. It has supported my family and brought joy to my life every day