The Weight of Expectations: The Ones We Set and The Ones Placed on Us

Expectations. We all carry them—some we place on ourselves, others are placed on us by society, family, careers, and even social media. As a leader, I’ve spent years setting expectations for my team, outlining what success looks like, how we should show up, and the culture we should create together. But somewhere along the way, I had to stop and ask myself:

What expectations am I placing on myself? Are they serving me, or are they weighing me down?

Then came the even bigger question—what expectations do others have of me, and are they in alignment with who I truly am?

The Silent Pressure of Expectations

From a young age, we’re conditioned to meet certain expectations. Be kind, make good grades, work hard, achieve success, be a good parent, look a certain way, have it all together. The list is endless. Some of these expectations push us to grow, while others quietly suffocate us under the weight of perfectionism and people-pleasing.

I’ve felt it in my career, in my personal life, even in the way I show up for others. There was a time when I carried the expectation that I had to have all the answers, always be strong, and never let anyone see me struggle. I told myself that as a leader, I had to be the rock for my team and the people around me. But I never stopped to consider if those expectations were sustainable—or even fair.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of self-love and personal growth. Just when you think you have mastered forgiveness, the Universe has a way of testing you. These moments challenge you to ask: Will I show up in my old patterns, or will I rise with a perspective of love? The answer to this question shapes not only your personal journey but also your effectiveness as a leader and entrepreneur.

Forgiveness isn’t always easy. It requires releasing the heavy burdens of anger, resentment, guilt, and fear. Yet, it is in letting go of these emotions that you create space for your higher self to emerge. Each act of forgiveness brings you closer to living the life of your dreams, free from the limiting beliefs that hold you back.

As an entrepreneur, and person forgiveness becomes an essential tool. People will come and go in your life and company. Sometimes, their departures can feel personal, leaving you questioning your leadership and your worth. But here's the truth: It’s not about you. Each person is on their own journey. They are navigating their own path, facing lessons and challenges that have little to do with you. Understanding this is crucial to becoming the kind of leader who leads with compassion, resilience, and grace. Never forget that some people are here for a season and others for your life journey.

As I travel the country meeting hairstylists it always leaves me in awe when someone says “you’re Only a hairstylist.”

What does that mean? Why do people say that? Why does being a hairstylist have any less worthiness than other professions? Why is being a hairstylist taboo in the eyes of so many people? Why do people say “you can’t make it in college just be a hairstylist?” Why do people say “you’re only a hairstylist you can’t really make a good living with that job?” Why is being a hairstylist viewed as mediocre? Why do people think less of a person because they are a hairstylist?

The first time I ran into someone telling me that I shouldn’t or couldn’t live my dream was in my tenth grade year in high school. I remember the guidance counselor telling me that I was wasting my brain and future if I became a “beautician.” (I was an honor student, and she thought I needed to be a doctor or lawyer). This was an ongoing conversation with her for two years.

I politely corrected her verbiage and said “I will be an amazing Cosmetologist. I promise I will not waste my brain.” Funny thing is that I am so glad I decided to be a part of the beauty industry. It has supported my family and brought joy to my life every day