Life happens to all of us. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly—it all comes for us at some point. Trauma is universal, even if we don’t openly talk about it. Pain, loss, disappointment, grief, fear—no one is immune. But the defining factor isn’t what happens to us; it’s what we do with it. Tony Robbins says it best: “Life is happening for us, not to us.”

We all have two choices.

We can either be the victim, trapped by our past, stuck in our pain, repeating old cycles. Always believing that it is happening to us.

Or we can be the victor—choosing to rise, choosing to heal, choosing to learn, choosing to rewrite the narrative.

Personally, I choose to let it fuel me. To be the victor. I refuse to let my past define me in a way that limits me. Instead, I use it as the driving force behind my success, my growth, and my healing. It fuels me to be better today than I was yesterday. It fuels me to challenge myself, to take care of myself, and most of all, to love myself. It fuels me to serve others. It fuels me to show up for others and let them know they are not the victim.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned—and one that I talk about in my book, I See You—is that you cannot show up for the people who matter in your life if you are not taking care of yourself first.

How often do we give everything to others—our families, our teams, our clients—only to realize we have nothing left for ourselves? I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to run on empty, to push through exhaustion, to neglect my own well-being in the name of productivity. But I also know what it feels like to hit a breaking point and realize:

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

Understanding that taking time for refueling, rebalancing, and taking care of yourself is necessary, especially if you are going to give your best to others,

My Personal Reset Plan

· Journaling – Releasing my thoughts, processing emotions, and realigning with my vision.

· Workout sessions – Moving my body to strengthen my mind and fuel my energy.

· Being outdoors near the water – Because nature always has a way of grounding me.

· A little time in the sunshine – Soaking in the warmth, resetting my nervous system.

· Growth work – Always learning, always evolving.

· Nails done – Because sometimes, self-care is as simple as feeling put together.

· Reiki session – Releasing energy blocks, aligning with my highest self.

· Meal prepping – Nourishing my body with food that fuels, not depletes.

· Meditating – Quieting my mind, reconnecting with my inner voice.

· A trip to the bookstore – Because knowledge and inspiration are never-ending sources of fuel. I can spend hours in the book store just browsing.

· Farmers market visit – Supporting local, feeding my soul with fresh, wholesome foods.

· Red light therapy – My newest self-care ritual, helping me heal from the inside out.

· Breathe work- letting go of the negative energy and embracing the positive

·Sound Baths- my new favorite self-care activity. This is amazing and so relaxing. I recently visited a wellness retreat at Big Cedar Lodge in Missouri and experienced a sound bath outside by the lake pool. It was such a serene experience. If you haven’t experienced a sound bat,h I highly recommend it.

I choose to make it happen. I choose to show up, not just for others, but for myself first. When I am fueled—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—I am unstoppable.

And so are you.

Make sure you take time to love yourself. Your future self will thank you.