I’ve been thinking a lot about judgment lately.

And not just how other people judge—But how we judge ourselves, how we judge situations, and how quickly we slip into judgment without even realizing it.

Because here’s the truth…

Judgment isn’t always a bad thing.

At its highest level, it’s actually discernment. It’s being able to see clearly. To make decisions. To protect your peace.

But at its lowest level?

It becomes criticism.

Assumptions.

Harshness.

I’ve seen both sides of it in myself.

When I really started unpacking this, I realized judgment comes from everything and everyone.

It comes from:

· our core beliefs

· our conditioning

· our past experiences

· society

· school

· religion

· the news

· social media

All of it.

We don’t just wake up one day and decide to be judgmental… we’ve been taught it, shaped by it, influenced by it. Think about coming into the world, you were carefree, no worries in the world. No Judgement. It wasn’t until you got a little older that you started changing to please people and be accepted, etc. So, of course, judgment shows up.

The question is… what do we do with it when it does?

I had this moment recently when speaking with a life coach that stopped me in my tracks.

I realized I’ve been putting off hiring a housekeeper.

And not because I don’t want help… but because I don’t want someone judging my home.

Now here’s the thing—my house is clean and organized.

But it’s also lived in.

There might be a dish in the sink. We sometimes wear shoes in the house. We do not scrub baseboards every weekend.

And I caught myself thinking… What will they think?

And that’s when it hit me.

This didn’t come from nowhere.

This came from a past relationship where everything had to be perfect.

I’m talking about white-glove perfect.

No dust.

No shoes.

No cooking.

Five to six hours of cleaning every single weekend before life could even begin.

Moving furniture. Moving appliances. Everything had to look like a showroom.

And on the outside, it looked “perfect.”

But on the inside? There was no joy. No peace. No freedom.

It was exhausting. It was rigid. It was toxic.

When that relationship ended, I let go of those expectations…

But I didn’t realize I was still carrying the fear of judgment that came with it.

And now?

My home is filled with love.

It’s filled with laughter.

It’s filled with life.

And honestly… my quality of life is so much better.

So, I had to ask myself:

Why am I still judging myself by standards I don’t even believe in anymore?

Then there was another moment. I saw that someone I used to be close with is going through some big life changes.

And for just a split second… I had the thought:

“She’s getting what she deserves.”

After a few minutes of the gloating, I was like… Whoa. No, this is not right.

That’s not who I am, nor is it who I want to be.

Because the truth is—I don’t wish hardship on anyone. I don’t wish pain, struggle, or suffering on anyone.

And what I realized in that moment was this…

That thought didn’t come from who I am today.

It came from the version of me that had been hurt. The version of me that had been judged by her. The version of me that had felt criticized, misunderstood, and maybe even small. The person whom she had ridiculed shunned and turned others against me.

And for a brief moment… that energy came up.

But I had a choice.

And I literally had to stop myself and say:

Hold up. That is not who you are.

Who I am—and whom I choose to be—is someone who wants every person to experience love, joy, healing, and authenticity.

Even the people who didn’t always give that to me.

So instead of feeding that judgment… I chose compassion.

I chose to send her love.

Without conditions. Without bias. Without needing to be right.

So, Where Are You With Judgment?

This is where it gets real.

Because it’s easy to see judgment in other people.

It’s harder to see it in ourselves.

So, I’ll ask you the same questions I’ve been asking myself:

· Where are you judging yourself in a way that’s holding you back?

· Where are you judging others based on your own pain or experiences?

· Where are you being critical instead of compassionate?

· Where are you letting fear of judgment stop you from living your life?

And really think about this…

How do you even know your beliefs are the “right” ones?

Are they yours?

Or were they given to you?

Is there always right and wrong?

Or are there just different perspectives shaped by different experiences?

Something to Sit With

If you take anything from this, let it be this:

Start noticing your judgment.

Not to shame yourself… but to become aware.

Because awareness is where everything shifts.

And maybe take some time to journal on this:

· What am I not doing because I’m afraid of being judged?

· Where am I judging myself too harshly?

· Where can I replace criticism with compassion?

Just sit with it.

Because when you start to let go of judgments, especially toward yourself, you create space for something so much better.

More peace.

More freedom.

More love.

And honestly… that’s the life I’m choosing now.